It’s not easy, coming home to see my grandpa in such a state. I hear about it from my mom, and have watched the drastic difference in him each time I make the trip to Michigan, but this time….it was really apparent just how bad things have gotten.
I guess I thought I would find a sense of closure this time, just in case. But I can’t say I did. My grandpa’s disease takes away his muscle control, and not only is it really difficult, and sometimes impossible, for him to move, but such is true when it comes to talking as well. It’s hard for him to participate in conversation because the words come out so (soooooo) slowly.
His frustration with the disease is sometimes expressed with anger. This is something I had heard about from my mom, but had not yet seen. And it is definitely something I could have gone without seeing.
So, it’s hard. It’s hard going home in some ways. It’s not the “home” I remember. Things have changed, as they do with time. And I know that I have changed as well. It’s life, but it does make me a little sad to realize that home doesn’t feel quite like home anymore. xo JA