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Whenever there is a lack of posts from me, feel free to assume that I am exhausted hot mess that, once my “regular work” is done around 9pm that the last thing I feel inspired to do is sit in front of my laptop to write a blog post. Sometimes, laying down and watching Breaking Bad just has to win.

It has been a long week or so. I was prepared to leave for Michigan last Thursday for the bridal shower my mom was throwing me. I was not prepared, however, to share the bridal shower weekend with my grandpa’s funeral.

Last Sunday I was waiting at the car wash when my Mom called me to let me know about my Gramps’ condition. “Just a waiting game.” “Any day now.” “Might want to pack funeral clothes.” “Think about extending your stay in Michigan just in case.”

Tears in the car wash parking lot.

I was scheduled to fly out Wednesday night. Would I get to see him again? I kept thinking back to the last time I saw him. To that last moment we shared. To the last words I said. To his hand on my cheek.

I knew it would be ok if he passed before I got home, because we had such a special good bye that last time. I can’t pinpoint what it was about it. There was a feeling of….understanding? Maybe we both knew..

My Mom called me Wednesday morning to let me know we lost him. My flight was not until 11pm so I spent what felt like the longest day ever waiting to get on a plane home. I got into Michigan Thursday morning. The viewing was Friday, the funeral was Saturday, and my shower was Sunday.

It was a really hard weekend but I got to spend a lot of time with my family that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. For that, I’m thankful, because it really made me realize how special they are….how much I miss them. And I know my Gramps is surely watching over all of us (in between great games of golf).

And now, he gets to come to my wedding! <3

Join the discussion 9 Comments

  • Marta Li says:

    Oh Julie Ann, you are such a strong and lovely human being. I don’t usually comment, but I follow you for a while and you are quite an inspiration. Then I read about your grandfather… I am so sorry about your loss. From my experience there’s nothing like the love and care that only family knows how to give to you. I often say that if it weren’t for my gramps I would not be here today, for I am part of him and he is part of me. I truly hope (and I know) that you will be strong and smile when his laughter, and smile, and voice, and memories fill in your thoughts. For sure he is watching over you with love. I believe mine is too. My very best and warmest regards for you and your family!

  • You are incredibly amazing. I’m always in awe of you.
    That is all.

    Hug.

  • Oh sweetie I am so sorry for your loss. I remember the post you wrote about your grandfather and remember getting choked up. Know that he’ll always be with you and that he’s very proud of what you’ve accomplished. I’m sure he also takes comfort in knowing you are in good hands with your fiance. Hugs! ♥

  • gina says:

    so sorry about all of this! in a weird way, it was like he knew you would be home and he wanted you to be there. it’s kind of nice. xoxo

  • Bev Feldman says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. It is never easy to lose a loved one, but I’m glad your last memory of him was such a good one!

  • I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandpa, but you’re right. He is definitely watching over you and his presence will be felt at your wedding.

  • I’m so sorry. I’m very glad you had a good last goodbye with him though.

    *hug*

  • I’m so sorry for your loss! My grandmother was taken from as almost as suddenly, I did get to see her before she died, but our bond was so strong, I knew it was ok. I often feel like she’s watching over me. I’m so glad you two had such a wonderful relationship.

  • So sorry for your loss. xx

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